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萬里路萬卷書
My First Day in Heaven(4)
Bob Choi
2018年11月13日

4. “Roman Holiday”: Three-Minute Version

The next person I would meet was a movie icon in the `60s. Being the movie buff that I was, I have seen all her movies, some more than once. Her 1953 Hollywood debut “Roman Holiday”, co-starring Gregory Peck, would win every movie award that was known to mankind. In the ensuing 15 years, she starred in no less than ten movies, all were wonderful, memorable performances: “Sabrina”, “War and Peace”, “Funny Face”, “The Nun`s Story”, “Breakfast at Tiffany”, “Charade”, “My Fair Lady” , “Wait Until Dark”...

Audrey Hepburn was not one of those Hollywood movie stars who having been deified in the limelight would become completely self-absorbed and sought self-gratification to no end. No, Audrey Hepburn was no Hollywood brat! She gave selflessly to humanitarian causes. Her devotion to charitable work especially for children was legendary. Travelling to every corner of the world, she championed relief and aid projects for children in need. Her role as UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador ended only when she died from cancer in 1993 at the age 63. My meeting with her must be brief for there are many who wish to talk to her.

“Miss Hepburn, I`ve heard that in the general election for the Most Deserving Soul of All Times, the folks at Heaven chose you over Moses and Mother Teresa. How do you feel about that?”

“Well, Mr. Choi, I am thankful for all the fans who enjoyed my movies and the parents of those children whom I was able to help. What I did I did out of love and compassion. Winning this election is only icing on the cake. I would like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to Moses. What we owe this gentleman is so great, so humongous that it can only be measured in biblical terms. I honestly feel he is much more deserving than I am. The only reason why I got more votes is because of the tens of thousands of Pharaoh soldiers who were drowned in the Red Sea. Many of them went to Heaven. Sadly, they still hold a grudge and did all they could to rally against Moses.”

“Oh, I didn`t think of that! But how about Mother Teresa, she hasn`t made any enemies, has she?”

“No, Mother Teresa has no enemies in Heaven, but... I really hate to say this... she could use some help in the personal appearance department. She needs a complete make-over if she wishes to get more votes next time. Just take at look at her hairdo...! Now Mr. Choi, I am afraid your 3-minutes just ran out. I still have over 10,000 appointments before the day is over. Hope you enjoy your first day in Heaven... Goodbye, Mr. Choi!”

“Dear Miss Hepburn, one last question, please! Miss Hepburn... would you care to have dinner with me...?”

“Goodbye, Mr. Choi. Have a nice day!”

 I knew that was a long shot. I have as good a chance as a snowball in hell to get a date with Miss Hepburn. She looks as young and pretty as she appeared in `Roman Holiday`... and I look old enough to be her grandfather! I was promptly ushered out by her prize-fighter personal assistant who reminded me very much of the young Mohammed Ali.

For those of you who think Heaven is a spiritual place and so physical appearance does not matter, you should think again! Looks are as important in Heaven as they are on Earth. The difference is: here you can`t improve your looks by going to a beauty salon, personal trainer or plastic surgeon. There is only one way to make yourself look better in Heaven and I shall lay it out for you in a later chapter. For now, please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts because the next person we are going to meet is our one and only Chairman Mao!  

 

--To Be Continued--

 

 
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