6. Candle in The Wind

        “And it seems to me you lived your life... like a candle in the wind... never fading with the sunset... when the rain set in... and your footsteps will always fall here... along England`s greenest hills... your candle`s burnt out long before... your legend ever will...”The chorus echoed in the hearts of millions around the world upon the tragic death of Princess Diana. This threnody tribute by Elton John was an instant success, making it the all-time best-selling single only after Bing Crosby`s `White Christmas`. Charles and Diana`s marriage was a fairy tale that ended badly. That much was certain. But how and why it took the wrong turn remains a mystery which has inspired countless paperbacks and mediocre flicks all aiming to profit from the immense popularity of Lady Diana.

        I wish to meet `Lady Di` not because I want to add my name to the already long list of shameless opportunistic reporters and writers. The story of Charles and Diana actually mean something to me personally. One might even say we travelled a similar path in a small way.

Carmen and I were married only a few months before the wedding of Charles and Diana was televised globally. Our wedding took place in the small backyard at the house of my sister-in-law, with very little fanfare. Theirs took place at St. Paul`s Cathedral in London, preceded by long processions of royal gallantry and regal trimmings befitting its billing as `Wedding of The Century`. Diana and Carmen were the same age. Charles was two years older than I was.

I remember Carmen and I were watching the live coverage on television, in awe with the spectacular display of grandeur and heralding trumpets. We couldn`t take our eyes off the screen throughout the 2-hour special broadcast. We didn`t talk much while we were watching, but when our eyes met, it was clear that we shared the same feeling of bliss and joy, knowing that we would live happily ever after just as the royal couple would. It turned out Carmen and I were overly optimistic. Charles and Diana`s marriage would last only fifteen years, ours eighteen. 1981 was probably not the best year to get married!  I have questions for Lady Diana, but I must tread lightly. I should be careful not to open up old wounds.

“Lady Diana, I know I must sound like a parrot... you look simply gorgeous! You got to be the most beautiful British Royal member there ever was!” I was not exaggerating: She actually looked better now than when she was alive. Gone from her face was the subtle yet persistent hint of sadness and despair that became apparent from the time her trouble with Prince Charles hit the news stands.

“Thank you, Mr. Choi, you don`t look too bad yourself... for a very old man, ha!” She should have seen me when I was in my prime! How I wished I had a higher HATS so I could look younger, or to have died when I was young. People were not joking when they said `only the good die young.`

“I see that you are still doing what you do best... making people happy, bringing joy and hope to everyone you meet.” I tried to shrugged off her casual comment on my age.

“Absolutely, Mr. Choi. In fact, I was elected by popular votes as `The One Person You Must Meet in Haven` ten years in a row.” It is comforting to know that Lady Diana is even more popular in Heaven, and that she revels in it. Well, I think it is time for me to dig a little bit deeper, into her psyche.

“Lady Diana, one question keeps bugging me and all my friends. Prince Charles was the most eligible bachelor on earth and you were the prettiest real-life princess the world has ever seen. It was a marriage made in Heaven and yet it was ruined on account of Camilla Bowles. Now, even someone blind would agree that you look far better than Camilla Bowles. How on earth could you lose out in this triangular affair?” I took aim and pulled the trigger!  I was certain that she has been asked a similar question million times over, so I was surprised that she was staring at me, speechless for several painful seconds.

“Mr. Choi,” she looked at me with her greyish blue eyes that must have graced hundreds of magazine covers. “Would you like my answer in the common version or the truth?” She leaned towards me.

“I could have gotten the common version on the web anytime when I was still alive. Please, I want you to tell me the truth. What really got into the way between you and Prince Charles?” I leaned towards her.

“He is a jerk!”

“Yeah, the whole world knows that! Now please tell me something I don`t know!”

We were now so close I could smell her floral scent which was as captivating as it was distracting.

 “He is a jerk... and he has a fixation on his mother, the Queen!” she said slowly, looking straight into my eyes so I would know she meant every word she said.

“Oh, now, that`s something new... I don`t think anyone has thought of that! So you are saying Charles your husband suffered from Oedipus Complex?”

“That`s right, Mr. Choi. I know... I know. I used to think that the Oedipus Complex was just a controversial concept in psychoanalysis... some defunct mumble jumble from Sigmund Freud, until I married Charles. Then I realized that he was emotionally attached to his mother Queen so much so that he could never be happy with a young, beautiful woman (that`s me!) and he–”

 “Ah... well, so he rekindled his old flame with Camilla Bowles who was –” I interrupted, only to be interrupted by her in turn...

“Oh, Mr. Choi, please don`t interrupt me! He sneaked back to Camilla Bowles, that plain woman who was old enough to be my mother!” She took the very words out of my mouth!

“Hmm, now that you mentioned it, Camilla Bowles did look a bit like the Queen when the Queen was young. I am beginning to believe that Charles did in fact have a bad case of mother fixation as you said. I can certainly understand your frustration with Charles. Now, Lady Diana, let`s talk about something else. How`s your love life these days? All your fans and supporters are dying to know.” I was eager to change the subject.

“Well, Mr. Choi, I am glad to let you know that I have finally met the right guy in Heaven. He is a most talented musician who totally adores me and has written a song about me.”

“ Oh, I am so glad that you and Elton John are –”, I blurted.

“Sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Choi, no... not Sir Elton John! He is one sweet guy, but he is gay, remember? Besides, he has made millions with his re-make of `Candle in The Wind` but refused to pay any royalties to my charity foundation. I am still mad at him.”

“Then pray tell, who`s this lucky guy?”

“ Paul Anka, that`s who!”

“Ah, the one who had the hit song `Diana` even before you were born!”

“That`s right, M. Choi, you might say that Paul and I were pre-destined lovers.”

“Wow, this is absolutely the most wonderful thing I have–”... at which point I was interrupted by the Divine messenger that I was being summoned by God (the big boss in Heaven). I must stop whatever I was doing and proceed immediately to Gate G where my escort awaited.

You don`t get summoned by God everyday, not even in Heaven. It must be something of immense importance. I therefore bade farewell to the lovely Lady Diana and hurried away. Looking back, my conversation with Lady Diana was punctuated with interruptions. I decided I should call on her again as soon I have a chance.