This is no laughing matter...

Peter Wu

25 September 2012

My friend KT has brought up the subject of a sense of humour, I have to come clean.

I don’t have a sense of humour – not at all, not one iota, not in a million year. Not ever. I was never born with a funny bone like Bob was.

I detest people who are not serious, especially when it comes to a sacred subject like patriotism.

This is no laughing matter. China and Japan are on the verge of war over a barren outcrop of rocks called Diaoyutai Island.

What can be more serious than the possible onset of the Third World War involving almighty China, a diluted yesterday super-power called the ‘Untied States of America’, and its puppet allies called Japan. No doubt, NATO will be arm-twisted to fight on the side of the US.

Look, everything is at stake here. The entire human civilisation is hanging in the balance, because of the possibility of nuclear bombs falling from the sky and worse – much worse – tit-for-tat trade embargoes. Imagine not being able to buy iPhones and iPads, order books and all sorts of goodies from Amazon. Imagine Levis Jeans are completely off the shelves. Imagine no movies coming from Hollywood. Imagine Disneylands being off limit. Imagine K Mart not selling stuff with the Made in China label?

So we should all be serious. The implications of the trade embargoes are mind-boggling serious. We’ll all die from material deprivation soon.

We must banish the use of the humour under all circumstances from now on. This banishment must be without exception.

Danny has kindly agreed to cull any emails which she deemed not serious. Repeated offenders will have their heads chopped off courtesy of my Triad bros.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

I am deadly and deadly serious.